Understanding Goku
by DemonMamoru-sama
Summary: Why does Goku leave for years at a time? Why didn't he notice what Gohan was thinking during the Cell Games until Piccolo told him? The answer is quite a bit different than what you'd think. Rated M for discussion of sexuality and identity. A fight that Cell starts turns out to help the DBZ characters understand more about Goku than ever before.
1. Cell's Epiphany

It was a few years into his stay in Underworld, when Goku's case of wanderlust started to kick in. After running things by the Grand Kai, who had nodded in time to the drum beat from his 90's style boom box, Goku had left to travel Otherworld for a time. He was warned of places that were off-limits, due to the main reason that they were places of either creation or destruction, and that his interference would cause chaos and death on an unprecedented scale. And as these places were completely devoid of life, they didn't much interest the Saiyan anyway.

And at the current time and place, Goku was taking a rest on a small floating island, which had an apple tree giving off bright yellow and red fruit. A small waterfall with a tiny creek was located to the left of the tree, which trickled to the ends of the tiny place. Defying the physics of such a thing, the water seemed to flow eternally, never running out. Goku sat on the edge, the tree roots emerging from the cliffs end, and grasping into empty space, while watching the water that fell gather on other, smaller islands, continuing a fountain which seemed to keep going down, creating pools and minute creeks on lower pieces of hovering land. This went on for at least what seemed like seven or eight levels, and Goku, although appreciating the sight, didn't bother to see how far it went on, nor was he afraid of the height. He could fly, after all.

The spot was pleasant, but Goku started to feel unnerved, and he realized it was due to lack of ambient sound. There was no sound from any other living thing, no birds singing, no hum of insects, no occasional movement from any other living thing. He welcomed the peace, but still, living on Earth, where those things were the norm and so ingrained into his senses, he became more uneasy by the minute. Finishing the last apple he picked, he scooped out some dirt on the far side, away from the other tree, and planted the apple core. He couldn't put his finger on what made him do the action, but he did. There was plenty of water, and even though there wasn't a sun, despite the lack of one, there was plenty of light. He figured it would sprout into a sapling, and another apple tree would grow.

Straightening, and reaching up with his finger tips, he stretched his muscles taught, before losing the pose and running to dive over the edge, enjoying the feeling of falling, before his ki picked him up and he shot off towards the distance. The feel of being so free soon caught up with Son Goku, the wind at his face, and happiness in that freedom, made his spirit soar (not that it wasn't already, being dead and all) and he gave a honestly joyous laugh, pouring on speed for the next destination.

Cell, was probably the most intelligent of all the people that he was surrounded with in the jail containment room. Frieza and his father, King Cold, were decidedly lacking. Frieza, while thinking that not every problem could be solved by violence, was not much better at using diplomacy, as it depended on people fearing him through his exertion of strength. Prideful, smug, and somewhat strong, he interested Cell, for a time. King Cold, however, just seemed too flamboyant to get anything done. He seemed a lesser version of his son.

The Ginyu's, on the other hand, were boring. Other than their showy and flashy introduction-which had surprised Cell for all of three seconds-they held no interest for the bio-android. They were weak, and their repetitious nature seemed to bring out Vegeta's impatience in the green humanoid. That wasn't to say that Cell didn't think less of the innate abilities that some of them possessed, like the tiny puke-green's one ability to stop time, or the captain's ability to switch bodies, but it was of no matter. Cell could not imitate these abilities, and so they were even more useless to him.

Dr. Gero, his creator, was much more of a let-down, so much so, that Cell didn't let on just how disappointed with the man-now-cyborg he was currently. Cell had expected that his "father" would have cared more about how he had fared against Goku, Vegeta, and the other Saiyans, but Gero was not. He had recognized his creation, certainly, but seemed unsurprised that he was defeated. The only thing that made the robotics professor pause, was the information that Cell had been done in by the _son _of Son Goku, and that Goku admitted that he couldn't beat Cell. That, at least provided Cell with no small amount of satisfaction, but he didn't speak of it aloud. After all, as far as he was concerned, he had been done in by someone he had no respect for. His death, had taken him by surprise, with no small amount of anger and confusion.

He had not seen any way that the hybrid youth could have drummed up that much power. Even upon seeing the child reach another level of power, characterized by the blue electricity flashing from his body, he still shouldn't have had enough energy to blast his body to bits. There had to be another energy source that Gohan had access to, and hadn't seen fit to use it until that moment. The fact that Gohan hadn't used it until at that point in the fight, also added to the hatred Cell had for the child. But no matter. He was dead, there was no way for him to travel into the world of the living to seek revenge, and if he was honest with himself, he didn't even want that. He acknowledged that it was his pride that spoke that he should have payback, but his rational side that spoke that if he was bested by a mere youth, that he certainly was not perfect, and that he should live with his shame of not being what he said he would be. Still, he mused, he did have Saiyan genes. And if he had those, he had a way of becoming even stronger than he was when he died on Earth. That idea, well and truly pleased him.

But even with that, returning to Earth was an impossibility, but Cell would settle for somewhere that was not the inside of the jail, or the vicinity of the volcanic mountains that surrounded him and the other prisoners when the wardens took them out for 'rehabilitative hikes.' In theory, from what Cell heard from overhearing them training some newbie, that the volcanic rocks in Hell were ki absorbing, and helped to drain out negative emotions, in addition to putting people through the soul washing machine that they were subjected to on a daily basis. Cell didn't think it made a damn bit of difference. Five years, and he felt no different.

Still, this place was driving him up a metaphorical wall. The chains that they wore were ki inhibited, meaning they couldn't just break free while they were employed in the use of restraining himself and the others. The jail was made out of a stone that seemed to be impervious to ki blasts, and the bars to the entrance were made out of the same metal as the chains and shackles, so that avenue wasn't even a possibility. The only chance to escape, as Cell saw it, was the moment right before being forced into the soul washing machine.

A strange contraption that not even Dr. Gero was sure of how worked, and it was an uncomfortable experience, especially to someone with a body, someone who wasn't just one of the souls that were shaped like clouds. For a person in a body, it was water rushing into the eyes, mouth, and ears, supposing you had them. The soap, by far, was the worst, it had a nasty flavor, and didn't go away for hours. The whole experience just served to annoy Cell further. But, to the point, they had to uncuff you to throw you in, and there was a couple of seconds before you fell in, that if you were prepared, you could rocket up with your unleashed ki. It would have to be careful timing, Cell mused, as it took a second for your ki to resume it's natural flow in the body, and if you weren't paying attention, you would hit the foamy water of the machine before you realized that there was a split-a literal split second-before you had the opportunity to rocket upwards and to freedom. Or whatever it was you could have in the Otherworld while being dead.

Cell had noticed this, but knew it would be idiotic to just escape without gathering what information he could of his new and unknown environment. There were too many variables unaccounted for. He liked knowing what he was getting into, after all. Still though, even after five years, he didn't know that much more. He did, however, know that Goku-for some reason completely unknown to him-chose to stay dead.

He couldn't comprehend the reasoning behind the choice, he knew from the data before he traveled to the past that Goku was a married man, and had a son. Humans had strong standards for parents, which was why Cell didn't understand why he would choose to leave behind his family; especially considering that he son would be distraught, no matter the fact that Goku had communicated to him from beyond his death. Oh yes, he had noticed that the boy was talking to someone during the last part of the fight, and by reading the boys lips, he had seen the word 'dad' and knew that Goku had found a way to communicate beyond the grave.

Still, why would Goku choose to leave his family unit? It didn't make sense under any kind of logic Cell knew of. A father figure was a person of importance, the seeming leader of the family unit. Why would Goku leave? It implied either Goku didn't care what happened to his son-which seemed unlikely due to the fact that he had died protecting Gohan from him the first time-and the fact that Goku didn't possess a single cruel bone in his body. Goku wasn't mean or malicious in any shape or form, but leaving his family seemed an out-of-character, vicious act towards them. Why bother save his son from death if he was going to put him through even worse emotional trauma? It almost seemed as if-and judging from the lecture he had heard Piccolo give Goku before the Saiyan had jumped in-that Goku didn't understand what being a father meant.

But how could that be so? Surely, Goku had witnessed from others good examples of father figures? The Namekian took better care of Gohan that Goku had even thought of. Running back through his files and what he knew of Goku's childhood, thanks to information downloaded to his memory by the computer Dr. Gero had created, he knew that Goku had spent much of his developing years isolated from civilization. But even assuming that Goku knew nothing of fatherhood due to that, it was completely illogical that he hadn't taken notice of other people who were fathers. (Although admittedly, Vegeta was more than likely a worse example. However, Vegeta did seem to lose it after he put a hole through Trunk's chest. So perhaps Vegeta wasn't as cold as he formerly thought?)

However, it seemed the only possible solution to the question. Goku did not either know or understand, how a father was supposed to act. And that gave Cell an idea. For all of Goku's talk of protecting the planet, of his talk of the value of people who were weak and unable to fight well enough to protect themselves, Goku did not uphold the principles that he spoke so passionately about. Even more so, he didn't seem to understand that he was not following his own ideals, strengthening his theory that Goku didn't even seem to understand and comprehend how he was obliged to act, as a human creator.

This did, however, make for an impressive psychological weapon. What would Goku's response be to such provocation, the idea that he was not all he preached he was? How would that affect his emotional state? What would he do afterword? Would he deny it, or realize his obliviousness? What consequences would Goku face? And what would he, by starting this?

Still, it would be no small amount of revenge, after all, to wholly devastate Goku with that epiphany.

If Goku could even understand that much.


	2. Escape

During the five years that Cell had spent enduring the soul washing machine, the hikes, the jail time, he hadn't been idle. Every time something of importance was said about the higher-ups, the places in Otherworld, or the news of the new orange-clad warrior that was taking the Supreme Kai's tournament by storm (that could only be Son Goku), Cell listened. He had learned quite a bit about various places, and about a few of the various ethnicities that all went to Otherworld when they died. Most of what he knew didn't necessarily do him any good, but still, he liked having a greater knowledge of what he was getting into if-_when_ he managed to escape.

It had been another week, and they were deep in a volcanic mountain range, where the lava was a deep violet, mountains were sulfur orange-yellow, and everything gave off a green miasma. It didn't do much other than be unpleasant, they were dead, what else could be done with them? Cell had heard rumors that if someone died in Otherworld, they simply ceased to exist, but he found that hard to believe, as it didn't look like any of the others were affected by the poison in the air. Then again, Freeza, King Cold could survive in the cold of space. Cell himself had that particular ability himself. And if the Ginyu force was effected, they didn't say nor was Cell inclined to ask. He could certainly tell that it was there, the scents of carbon dioxide, hydrogen sulfide, sulfur dioxide, and hydrogen fluoride assaulted his olfactory sense, but they weren't going to kill him.

The trek through the mountains was over rough ground, made more difficult by the chains that they all had to drag alongside. Thick shackles were around their wrists with a small length of chain, and the same on their ankles, further restricting movement. Walking required constant vigilance from all of them, to prevent the chain from getting stuck on protruding stones, holding the whole line back if they got caught. Theoretically, the whole point of it was to promote teamwork, tolerance, and a non-violent coexistence. However, that didn't apply in Hell. Cell was the strongest of everyone, and they all knew it, so even Frieza would grudgingly back off once Cell had made it clear how he wanted something to be done. Still, even he had to put aside his own pride once or twice to make sure that they could continue unhindered. Intentionally stalling the line meant a longer time in the soul washing machine, and they all hated that.

There was no positive reinforcement here for them, only the threat of punishment for violating the set rules their keepers had. So they all continued on, suffering the heat, the scent of poisonous gases burning in their nostrils, as they navigated the rough terrain.

And Cell continuing to silently plan methods of his eventual jailbreak.

A few days later, everyone in Hell was being lined up for the trek to the soul washing machine.

"Watch it!" Frieza hissed at Guido, who had bumped into his leg.

"Sorry, sir!" Guido snapped to a salute, still accepting Frieza as his lord and leader, even though in Hell Frieza usually answered to Cell.

Friza answered with a high-pitched growl, before turning forward in his place in the chain linked line.

King Cold lead the line, followed by Ginyu and Recoome, then Frieza, Guido, Jaice, Burter, and then Cell. Their guards had chosen to allow their prisoners to choose the order of the line. King Cold wanted to lead, Frieza at this point just didn't care, and Cell chose the last place in line so that he could observe what was going on in front of him. If he was to escape, then he wanted to know if there was any way to take advantage of his fellow jailmates.

However, it didn't seem likely. The Ginyu Force followed their captain, and Captain Ginyu followed orders from Frieza and King Cold without question. But they would all do as Cell told, if he forced the issue. If it came down to taking orders from either the Wardens or Cell, they would do as Cell wished, purely out of fear that he _would_ find a way to kill them.

As they continued on, Cell focused on drawing the limited amount of ki he could to his center, knowing that if he wasn't prepared, he wouldn't have the time needed to fly off and escape. Looking up, he saw that the machine that they all hated was within the horizon line. Drawing deep breathes, he continued to concentrate the energy he had collected into his limbs, and the beetle like armored wings started twitching before settling down again. They didn't allow him to fly without full access to his ki, but they did work as excellent rudders. They let him change direction quickly, without sacrificing ki for complex maneuvers, unlike other fighters.

An hour passed by before their trek was finally complete, and the red demon creatures unlocked a gate that opened to stairs that went to the top of the machine.

"You all know the drill!" ordered the leader of the wardens, holding the gate open. It locked behind them, preventing them from running back down and away once they were out of their chains.

King Cold glared at the guards, but never the less stormed up the stairs with a glare that could cause Hell itself to freeze over. This was the worst part of their daily routine. Already, everyone could hear the humming rumble of the machine as it shook the walkway. Cell was the last one up, already prepared to rocket away from this literal hell hole the moment the cold bite of the cuffs left his body. King Cold already was free of them, giving the guard one last dirty look, mouth closed in a tight line, he jumped into the frothing pit. The swirling vortex of water pulled him under, before he resurfaced again on the opposite side, limbs flailing in an attempt for stability.

By that time, Ginyu and Recoome were dropped in as well. The slack chains were pooling as Frieza was released, then Guido. Cell's muscled tensed as he stepped closer. Jaice's shackles were unlocked and fell.

"I 'ate this," was heard spoken in his strange accented voice, before he sighed and stepped over the edge.

Another step forward, only one more person left before him.

Burter didn't say anything as his cuffs were removed, he simply threw himself over the edge, seemingly eager to get it over with.

And finally, it was Cell's turn. He held out his cuffed wrists, the black appendages on his back twitching up before settling back down again. The guard with a key unlocked the shackles on his wrist, before stepping to the side and kneeling down to release the ankle cuffs, the metal falling off, and Cell could feel his Ki surging back.

He ran a step before having a moment of sudden inspiration as his body started to move to jump over the edge of the water, he snapped out his leg, the toe of his foot kicking out and catching the pile of chains launching them into the water.

"Hey!" one guard started forward, and not paying attention, he stepped on the now-moving chains. They slid out from under him like a live python, making him fall on his behind, forward momentum propelling him right into the foaming water.

Feeling gravity start to kick in, he fired his Ki downward into his body to propel himself up, wings flattening on his back to reduce drag, pouring on speed to put as much distance between himself and everyone in Hell as he could. He knew that once word of his escape reached the ears of the Grand Kai, there would be others sent to collect him, like Pikkon, the alien that had managed to take him by surprise with his attack, and cause him to careen into the jail that started this whole thing.

A sneer flickered on Cell's face before his expression went to it's usual neutral state. He would admit that he hadn't been prepared for someone as strong as Gohan living in Otherworld. Mainly due to that he had no previous knowledge of Otherworld, and that all the people that he and Frieza had encountered in Otherworld possessed no significant amounts of strength. Nevertheless, he was free and running now, a fugitive of the realm of death itself, even though he was no longer living.

A hint of a smirk ghosted over his features, as he reached a group of orange clouds, These should lead him out of Hell, from what he overheard of the guards who paid no mind to their idle chatter. With an extra burst of speed, he charged into them, the swirling mass not cold or moist like those of earth. They felt..dry, with a strange feeling of lightning about to strike, electricity pent up but having no release. Still, he didn't slow down, and felt the charge lessen as he continued on.

A few more minutes passed, and Cell broke free of the cloud line, into what appeared to be space, a inky blue-blackness with pinpricks of silver light. He could sense multiple sources of energy as well, presumably many living things had low level power levels...or were suppressing them. Thanks to Pikkon, he knew that people just as strong-stronger said a part of his mind that he refused to acknowledge-as he was existed in this Otherworld.

Now, this presented a new problem that Cell wasn't sure how to deal with. Otherworld was far larger than he had ever thought. How to locate one person in particular without knowing any places, without knowing any people, and without being able to sense any recognizable ki. Not knowing where he was, he decided to go to the one place in Otherworld that he knew, the location of King Kai's planet...even though the planet and question wasn't there anymore. Still, it would serve as a starting place to begin his search for Goku.


	3. Confrontation

Goku had found a strange planet that resembled the big cities of earth. The buildings were tall, highways stretched across the surface, busy with traffic. People of all kinds of appearances and races walked the streets. When Goku descended into a park, he got a few funny looks from the people that were there, but they said nothing. Apparently a flying person wasn't anything _too_ unusual here. Or maybe it was the halo. It could have been the halo, he though with a shrug.

A silver sidewalk ran through the park, and Goku stepped on it, jogging along to look at all the different kinds of people. People who looked like Pikkon, others who looked like Namekians, an incredible variety of people wandered the city, conversing in languages unknown to Goku. Although he did notice that there were a few signs in English. The ones that interested him most were the signs that displayed advertisements for food.

His path lead him to the edge of the park, and out onto a street, filled with people j-walking, and there wasn't any traffic around anyway, so Goku didn't figure it would matter whether he kept to the sidewalk or not, and strolled in the center of the road, continuing down to where a man (at least, that's what he guessed 'he' was, considering he looked humanoid, had a mustache, and had orange skin) was shouting something in a different language, and a few others were standing around, listening to him. The shouting wasn't angry, more like a barker, a term he knew from Bulma. (A barker being someone who told people something positive and good about a product they were advertising.-)

Goku went up, and listened, but the language sounded like a bunch of gibberish to him. Then, the man was quiet, and others in the small crowd started asking questions, which the man answered. There were a few more murmurs, and then a person, who had fish gills, lime green scales, and thick tail step forward onto a machine that looked like a scale.

And then he did something that Goku _did _recognize.

He powered up using his ki.

Goku felt his power raise suddenly, plateau, and then shoot up again. His ki felt unstable though, like someone who hadn't fully learned how to control it. When the man finally quit, his power felt around Krillen's maximum output, which was high for someone not Saiyan. When he finally quit, a part of the building Goku thought was a wall, changed color, and a number was displayed.

Panting, the fish-like person stepped off the scale, and a person walked out of the building. She looked human, except she had cat ears, and a cat tail. She carried a tray of steaming food out to him, and he took it, saying some word of thanks, and the woman went back into the building.

Goku stood and watched, as this process was repeated again and again. Each time a person stepped on the device, they powered up, a number displayed on the sign, and they were given a tray of food. He was taking a step up and then felt someone tap him on the shoulder.

He turned to see who was touching him, and saw someone that looked like a police officer from earth. They said something, which Goku obviously didn't understand and shrugged. The person in uniform smiled, and then pulled out something that looked like a stapler. He brought it up to Goku's sleeve, clenched it, and a click sound was heard. When that was removed, a small, round device was clipped to it.

"Can you understand me now?" a baritone voice asked.

"Oh!" Goku's face lit up with all the joy of a five year old getting what he wanted for Christmas, "yes! I can! Thanks a lot!" he rubbed the back of his head with one hand, a brilliant smile on his face.

"Not a problem," the man said. "Did you skip the tourist desk? Usually they're pretty good about handing out translators. Did you get lost from your group?"

"Tour group? I wasn't ever a part of one. But if you don't mind me asking, what's going on over there?"

There were about ten more people who were still waiting for their turn, and another person was standing on the scale.

"Oh, that's Mr. Tanger's restaurant. Instead of charging people money, he charges them their energy. When the stand on that unit," he gestured to the device they stepped on, "that measures their energy out put, and absorbs it. The energy is used to power the building, and what's left over is stored for later use. Depending on the amount of energy, he gives them a certain amount of food. The more energy given, the more food they have 'paid' for."

"Oh! I see! That way no one has to use money!" Goku exclaimed, excited at the prospect that he would be able to eat without.

"This city doesn't run on money," said the man, "everything runs on an exchange of ki. It's a clean energy source, and there's more than plenty."

"Oh wow! That's awesome!" Goku exclaimed, thinking that he would have to tell Bulma about it. Maybe then she could drain off some energy from Vegeta and he'd be easier to live with. But it would have to wait until he saw King Kai again, and that would wait until he was done exploring. "So, wait, does that mean the more ki they put out, the more food they get? And what's your name?"

"I'm Glenden, from the Public Assist Office," he said, holding out his hand.

Goku shook his hand in a friendly manner, "I'm Goku, from Earth! So, the more energy I put out, the more food I get...that sounds like an awesome deal! I'm going to do it!"

"Well then, be careful. It's your first time attempting something like this, and don't forget the energy you put out will be absorbed," Glenden warned.

Goku turned back to him, having stepped forward, "Aw, don't worry about that. I can put five times the amount that the guy who's up now is doing without a problem."

"You can't posses that much energy," Glenden waved a hand airily.

"Just watch me!" Goku grinned, stepping forward.

"Alright new guy, you think you can outmatch my last customer?!" Mr. Tanger questioned in an excited voice!

"Yeah! By five times!" Goku declared happily at the thought of the food that he could 'buy'.

Then a quiet fell over the small crowd, before they burst out laughing. Not mocking, but it clearly conveyed that the certainly didn't believe him.

"Well, then right this way...what's your name?" Mr. Tanger gestured for him to step on the device.

"Son Goku," he answered, taking a deep breathe and exhaling before stepping onto the measuring appliance.

"It isn't possible to possess that much power!" one of members of the crowd shouted out...right as Goku raised his power level instantaneously to one third of the way. Huge currents of air blasted away from Goku, his aura lit up to the flashes of gold that made themselves known when he was powering up to Super Saiyan, and then he flat lined, keeping his power level stable. When he felt his ki draining away, he knew that it had worked. Then, the number displayed on the board was five digits, not the normal four digit numbers that had been coming up.

"Whew," Goku stretched his arms out over his head, "how much food does that get me?" he asked with a smile to Mr. Tanger.

"I don't...don't believe it," Mr. Tanger's jaw was practically unhinged from how low it was hanging. "Stevette! Bring this man enough food to feed seven people!"

"Yes sir!" called out a female voice from inside the restaurant. There was a clinking sound heard, before the same cat lady from before came out, pushing a cart that held platters of food.

"Son Goku! Please, eat as much as you like, Stevette here will show you to a booth in the back!"

"Thanks!" Goku followed the waitress inside, as she lead him through the front parlor and to the back where it was empty.

"If you get done with all of this," she said, placing the food out on the table as Goku sat down on a booth, "ring the bell, and I'll come and take your order," she gave a smile, and rolled the cart to the front to go and wait on more costumers.

"Thank you," Goku picked up his fork as she left, and started to dig in.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Cell popped into existence at the place where King Kai's planet had been, and could even see the end of Snake Way. He knew for a fact that he was in the right place. But this was the only other location in Otherworld that he had been before he died. While it was the best starting point because he knew where he was, it still didn't lead him any closer to finding Goku. And that's when he felt it, a faint pulse of Goku's power.

It wasn't even a whisper of what Goku was capable of achieving, but Cell definitely felt it. A smirk twisted itself across his features, pink eyes narrowing in malicious glee, as he raised two fingers to his temple.

"Found you!" the deep voice rumbled out, before Cell once again disappeared.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Goku was mostly done with his second massive order of food when he felt the change in the air. He shot up out of his seat, and spun to see the threat.

Cell, stood in the middle of the room, arm still raised with fingers to his temple, with a smug grin on his face.

"Hello, Goku."

"Cell!" Goku hissed, "how you escape Hell?"

Cell did the equivalent to raising an eyebrow, "because I'm the only smart person that was in Hell in the first place. And your technique, instant transmission, certainly helped."

"Why are you here? To settle an old score?" Goku glared at the green creature standing before him.

"Truth be told? I'm _bored_," Cell started, "Hell is boring. It's the same thing for day upon day, year upon year. It's not even that bad, unless you hate repetitiousness. But I get bored fast. And as I was wandering, I sensed you powering up. And if nothing else, Goku, you make for _excellent_ entertainment."

Cell paused, turning towards the front of the building, where he sensed yet another person powering up, but they didn't even hold a candle to the Namekian Piccolo. His light magenta eyes met the jet black of Goku's eyes once more.

"And if you're not entertaining me now...let's just say that you soon will be."


	4. To Make You Think (And Suffer)

_"And if you're not entertaining me now...let's just say that you soon will be."_

"Let me guess. If I refuse, you'll find someone else to entertain you," Goku said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Don't you think it's funny? That this world, full of people-living people-exists in Otherworld? Where everyone is supposed to be dead? I wonder what happens if you die twice?" a poisonous smile curled on Cell's lips, a vicious gleam of his eyes, "do you get sent to Heaven or Hell? If you don't keep my interest, I might be interested in finding out if all these people would die, or if they would cease to even exist."

"Then I guess I don't have a choice," Goku remarked. "But not here. Let's find another place to fight." The corners of his mouth curled upward. "I know of quite a few places that'll be fun. I'd be lying if I said I don't like your kind of entertainment when it's against someone in your own class."

"It would be a terrible waste to decimate a metropolis like this one," Cell grinned, "I'm going to assume that you're going to use the instant transmission technique?"

"Of course. Fastest way to get around, after all," Goku said, lifting his two fingers to his forehead, reaching out for Cell.

Cell held out his hand, and then the familiar sensation of traveling via instant transmission took over, and with a final 'pop' feeling, Cell pulled his arm back, and looked around in curiosity.

The place that Goku took them to was beautiful, but uninhabited. While the planet looked like it was right-side up, the gravity seemed to be pulling the water and leaves that would fall upwards instead of down. As though the ground repelled instead of drew items towards it. The ground was covered in grass, but it was orange, and the sky was a bright yellow with no sun or moon to be seen. Just green clouds floating along that absorbed whatever fell up into it from the ground below. In the distance were cliffs and trees, but surrounding them right now was simply a flowerless meadow.

Goku hovered in the air, smirking at Cell. "This place is fun for training. Been wanting to see how getting into an actual fight would work here. The gravity has a mind of its own."

"I'm glad there's something that has a mind of its own," Cell muttered to himself as he floated in the air, before flying backwards, wanting to get an idea for the gravity and a feel for the place before they got down to the fight.

Goku knew how the gravity worked, but he needed some time to adjust as well. So he waited for Cell to gather his bearings as he made himself familiar again with his surroundings. He allowed himself to not hold himself in one place for a little while, allowing himself to be carried upward towards the sky for a little while, then he pulled himself down. He repeated the motions a few times, as a type of push-up, except while flying. It was fun. "Ready when you are!" Goku announced after a few of these.

Cell had a quick mind. While Goku wasn't paying attention, he was observing his movements and drawing his own conclusions about the special gravity of the planet. Cell wasn't dumb by any stretch of the means, and due to his loss the second time on earth, he had a good idea about some of his own weakness, as well as Goku's.

"Well then," Cell took a stance, as much of you could while in the air and started to raise his ki, "let's start, shall we?"

Goku stopped what he was doing, then re-situated himself so that he was hovering in one place and also got into a fighting stance. "Yes, let's." Goku allowed himself a smirk. No one was here to get hurt, so not only did that mean that they could go all out, but Goku could actually really enjoy himself. Cell was quite the opponent, and that never ceased to excite him. "Do you want to start us off, or should I?"

"By all means," Cell gave a nod towards Goku, "be my guest."

Goku allowed himself a smile, then he rushed at Cell, starting things off with a roundhouse kick.

Cell stopped the kick, snapping out his forearm and bracing to take the impact while countering with a upset punch to Goku's stomach, "so, Goku, answer me something."

Goku blocked the punch to the stomach with a down block, his forearm making a snapping sound as it connected with Cell's wrist - not because it broke anything, but it was a crisp snapping sound of Goku's clothes moving in the air. Goku raised an eyebrow at the question.

"What is it?"

"You seem to preach certain ideals to your friends and enemies, but you don't seem to uphold those principles yourself. Why is that?" Cell continued the direction that his hand was traveling due to Goku's block, coming up in a ridge hand strike for the pressure point below the ear while his other arm rechambered by his cheek.

Goku blocked the ridgehand, but Cell's question was throwing him off-balance. It was a little difficult to process vague questions like that and fight at the same time-normally, Goku would just ignore it (like most of everything else that confused him)-but this sounded . . . important. "What do you mean?" he really couldn't think of what Cell was talking about.

Cell backed off a few inches, creating enough distance between them to snap out a kick towards Goku's ribs, "I suppose the best example would be with Gohan. You preach about being ready to fight, the practice and time it takes to be primed to fight, physically and mentally, but you tossed in your own son, with no thought for his preparedness, into my tournament. He hesitated, or did you choose to ignore that in favor that you knew he possessed enough power to rival my own? Did the fact that he was your son, and might sustain grievous wounds or die, even cross that small mind of yours?"

Goku didn't really . . . get what Cell was getting at. Gohan was plenty prepared, he was strong enough to defeat Cell. Sure, he screwed up with not even realizing that Gohan didn't even LIKE to fight, but Gohan WAS ready, he just . . . hadn't known he was ready.

It was hard to think about . . . things that didn't pertain to their fight while fighting. It was easy to think about fighting while fighting, and it was so much easier to think about fighting when he didn't have anything else to think about-it WAS his favorite thing to think about. It was easy to do, and it held his attention for long periods of time.

But this . . . . He couldn't even really understand why Cell was even asking, or what the purpose of the question was.

As a result, he was mostly blocking, focusing on not getting hit but not being able to think of what his own next attack should be. The questions were too distracting.

"He was ready, he had the training. He had what he needed to defeat you - and in the end he did. I miscalculated his - his - " What was even the word for it?

"His willingness to fight?" Cell questioned, raining down blows on Goku, who was getting distracted with their conversation.

"Yeah," Goku said, recognizing that the phrase fit, still blocking. With the slight relief on the cognitive thinking part of his brain, he finally got an attack of his own in - a punch towards the face - and fully intended to figure out a way to get the upper hand.

"But he is your son. Did you not care if he got injured, or died? Even Vegeta, a far less compassionate person than you, still lost his sense and attacked me after I killed Trunks. In that sense, doesn't that make Vegeta a better father than you?" Goku's punch landed, but Cell managed to turn his head so the strike only glanced off his cheek.

Now Goku was even more confused, and he had to make a decision on whether to focus on fighting or answer Cell's question. Since fighting sounded a lot easier than figuring out what Cell was even talking about-because it didn't make sense, and he didn't see what Vegeta and Trunks even had to do with this, or what fatherhood had to do with it at all-instead he focused on blocking and attacking for a few minutes. After a while, he almost forgot there was even a question asked.

"He wasn't going to die because he could do it-I knew he could, and he did it. He beat you! He had the power and the strength to make it, and he did in the end!"

"That's beside the point. You knowingly and willingly put your son in a situation where he would face horrendous injury and death," Cell pointed out as they traded attacks.

Goku . . . couldn't understand why that was relevant. Gohan could do it. And he did do it. There was no one else better for the job. He did for Gohan what he would've done for anyone else-Krillin, Yamcha, Vegeta, Piccolo, Tien-any of his friends. He of course wouldn't WANT anything bad to happen to Gohan, but some injury was inevitable, and they could fix almost anything with the senzu beans, and for back up they did have the dragon balls ready at the Lookout. Gohan was perfectly safe!

He focused on fighting instead of thinking about it, but after a while, it was starting to really bug him and kept him from thinking his moves through properly. And THAT bugged him.

"Why does that matter?" Goku asked after a while, eyebrows furrowed significantly in concentration. His brain felt like too little butter spread across a piece of bread. "We all knew what we were getting into, we all trained for that day, Gohan was our best bet. It was only life-and-death because YOU made it that way!"

"The terms of my tournament aside," Cell's gaze narrowed into a glare, "as a father, as someone who prides himself on the idea of protecting the innocent, why would you so casually throw Gohan into the ring? It was a very real possibility that he could die, regardless of the assuredness you had that he would triumph."

Goku could see the glare, but he was finding it difficult to fight and talk . . . ideology with Cell at the same time. He pushed back, creating some distance between them.

"Time out!" He didn't like saying that, but he really couldn't handle the two things at once right then. When it came to fighting Vegeta and Freiza, it hadn't been an issue, but with this and how much Cell was requiring him to think on his answers . . . he just couldn't manage it.

"I didn't want Gohan to be in danger, but he was the strongest out of all of us, and in order to protect everyone else, we needed to stop you. And Gohan was the most equipped to do that. How can I take the fact that Gohan was the best for the job out of the equation, and what does me being his dad have to do with any of this?"

Cell didn't move forward, respecting the distance that Goku had set. And after a long moment of different thoughts shifting and showing on his face, one right after another, before he finally settled on one. The most wicked, cruel expression of a smile that Cell had ever worn now adorned the bio-androids' features. Then Cell started to laugh, full bodied chortles that turned into sadistic and condescending snickers.

When Cell's laughter finally died down, he shook his head. Goku's face was met by now a look of something that was mockingly pitiful.

"Oh, Goku. You don't even understand that you're not the good that you'd think you are!"

As Goku waited for Cell to give him a reply, he expected a response that made sense. But instead of a real answer, the fighter laughed and laughed, and Goku didn't understand it. What had he said that was so funny? He didn't understand, and Cell's reaction was starting to make him angry.

"Just what are you talking about?! You're not making any sense!"

Goku very often just . . . ignored what didn't make sense to him or just went along with it anyway, but this, _this_ felt important, even if he didn't understand why it was important. It didn't feel like a trick either. But that made it even more frustrating that he didn't understand what Cell was getting at.

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong," Cell's voice turned dark, "it's not making sense because you," he pointed a finger at Goku, "don't have the faintest inkling about what it means to be a father."

Goku frowned, but he didn't feel . . . surprised by the declaration. Or offended or . . . much else other than wondering what the heck this had to do with anything. And why Cell of all people was lecturing him on...whatever it was he needed to be lectured about.

"So," Goku asked, his eyebrows narrowing more. He almost looked like he was pouting. Almost. "What's your point?"

"You not knowing what it means to be a father is entirely my point. But I'll spell it out for you, since you don't seem to know any better. Being a father means caring for, and protecting your children. It means that if you must die to protect them, you will. It's taking care of them, and simply being 'there'. It means you don't abandon them in favor of another person, or activity.

But you, aside for having utter disregard about whether your son lives or dies, don't seem to pay any mind to his suffering, either emotionally, mentally, or even physically. You stood by and did nothing as I hurt him in front of you. In fact, it took Piccolo to seem to jar you into awareness about what you giving me a way restore myself to full power was, in fact, a very bad idea. And Piccolo interfered again, trying to talk sense into you about what own son-_your own flesh and blood_-was thinking as I tortured him. Even I wondered, what kind of father are you?

And the answer is that you don't even know there is a meaning to being one, that by definition itself you are to treat your son differently than your wife, and friends. But being a father simply isn't all you're lacking, is it?

Don't forget that Dr. Gero created me, and by extension, I was filled in on all the known events that occurred up until my awakening in the 'future.' You left your wife-Chichi, I believe her name is-several times while you wandered the planet, or when there was something else that interested you more than her. You didn't come back to earth when Porunga could have brought you back, leaving your wife and son to their own fates.

You left them in favor of learning more advanced techniques of an alien race.

And even now, you're here in Otherworld, when you had the choice five years ago to come back to life to live with them, you chose here. And I've been doing some research. Your wife has had to raise and care for a second child without your help, or help from any of your friends.

Even Gohan isn't much help, as he's in school or studying most of the time. I admit, she handles the strain marvelously well, but even she has to have a breaking point. And now, even knowing all this, you don't want to go back, do you? No, you'd rather stay here, and fight me, instead of being the husband and father that you should be.

Now, answer me this: how is it not funny, that someone like you, who cares so much about your home planet, and the masses of people on it, not care for his family as much as he does strangers? You aren't willing to throw their lives on the line to protect earth, but you throw away the lives of the people you should care about most, easily and without thought. To me, as someone who has died fighting you, how is it not ironically hilarious?"

Goku's frown deepened as he listened, but even as Cell came to an end, Goku wasn't entirely sure how to respond to him. His brain was getting that . . . he didn't know how else to describe the sensation, other than it felt like a blanket was wrapping itself around his brain, making it feel like a stuffed animal or something had been put in its place. It made it hard to think, and with how long Cell was talking, and what he was talking about, it made it harder to even process what it was that Cell was talking about.

It didn't feel good, and the feelings that were coming from Cell's admonishment didn't feel good either. Guilt, mostly, like the kind of feeling he felt when he found out that he was responsible for killing his grandfather...

"You say that like it's a bad thing... Wanting to stay and fight or learn new techniques..." And he supposed that was Cell's point. "But I'm not . . . throwing them away. Chichi does her thing, I do mine..."

At least . . . that's always how he viewed it. "And-and I did protect and look after Gohan. When Radditz kidnapped him and from the Ginyu Force and Frieza..." And he . . . didn't really know what to say about the second child he apparently had now. He wasn't even sure how he could be a parent if he wasn't there... Children just appear out of no where and you look after them when they show up, didn't they?

"The fact that you can't even fully process what I'm telling you is where my current sense of humor is originating from." To be honest, Goku's response to his questioning really showed that Cell was correct in his assumptions, that Goku didn't know what it meant to father. It really was quite comical to Cell that Goku didn't understand what he was talking about, even when he spelled it out for him.

Goku's frown deepened, and his head hurt, and it didn't feel good, and he really, really wanted to just get back to the fighting. Fighting made sense. It always made sense. It . . . it was the only thing he really understood and could make sense of and be smart about, if he was going to be entirely honest with himself. Fighting was easy. Simple to understand.

This wasn't, and he didn't like it at all. It made the fuzzy feeling in his head worsen. He brought a hand up to his head and pressed his palm against the side, hoping to alleviate some of the hazy sensation. It never actually worked, but it was worth a shot.

"I don't understand..." Goku said, which . . . he knew they both knew that by now, but something about saying it aloud . . . made Goku feel rather helpless. Not physically. If they could just forget all of this and just fight, he'd be just fine. But . . . he didn't feel equipped at all to handle this conversation or even to comprehend this conversation. "Why are you even asking about this? Why is it important to you?"

"Well, I suppose it's not important to me, personally. It was merely a curiosity I had, which I thought I could use as a mental weapon against you. I'm not surprised that I am correct, but I am thoroughly disappointed in your character. I thought you a better man, Goku, than you clearly are."

That made Goku angry, though he wasn't sure if it was . . . a justified anger.

Was Cell right? Did he have a point? Was Goku's parenting-or lack thereof-really an indication on whether or not he was a good person? Was he . . . actually bad?

But-but-!

But that wasn't fair!

What was the difference between a friend and a son? A friend and a wife? Why was there any difference at all!?

And hearing that this whole line of questioning was really just meant to screw with his head-and the fact that it worked, and that now the fuzzy feeling was back-and stronger than ever-it felt like it was going to stay for much longer than Goku would ever care for- and it was making him really angry.

His hair flashed yellow, and his eyes turned blue, the manifestation of his aura lashing around his body like the feelings in his heart and mind, showed that he was done talking. The feeling in his brain was still there, and he hated it, hated that Cell made him feel it, after having successfully avoided it in so long. He hated feeling like this, and he spent the majority of his life just running away from it because the feeling sucked, making him feel like he couldn't do anything about anything.

And that wasn't true. He could always punch the bad guys-in this case, Cell-half way across the fighting area.

And he fully intended to do so, as he closed the distance between himself and Cell and threw a punch.

This time, there was no sense of a fun, combat loving Goku. No, this was the Saiyan warrior completely enraged, emotions swirling with confusion, self-depreciation, but still had the original goal in mind: _defeat Cell._

In truth, Cell didn't expect that Goku would have grown stronger than he was on Earth, believing that even in Otherworld, Goku still wouldn't continue to train. He was wrong. However, living in Hell, in harsh conditions, traveling over difficult terrain, while continuing to wear the ki inhibiting shackles, also granted Cell an increase of strength. His body had muscle memory of combat that never faded, so his reflexes, reactions, and technique never got rusty.

This _would _made them even, more or less. Except that Goku was angry, and far more ruthless than he normally was. Even despite having fought Cell on Earth, he could tell that Goku was't in it to win, more like he just wanted to see what the other's limits were. It had a playful feeling, however much Cell despised that Goku would dare to do it.

With this difference, Goku was pressing forward, and Cell was having to give ground, before he reapplied himself to pushing Goku back. Cell knew he was struggling, so he upped his power to the next level, blue lightning flashing around his body, combined with the gold aura that came with powering up to Super Saiyan levels.

Goku was not to be outdone, landing a series of punches that left Cell bleeding and stunned, as he started gathering energy in his hands before he even started the first syllable of his attack. When the his wrists came together, the energy that he stored there was already at a significant level.

"Kaaaaah!"

By this time, Cell managed to shake off the feeling, focused on Goku charging his best attack. But Cell was not to be out done. Pouring his energy into it, he mirrored Goku's stance, skipping over the chanting that accompanied the attack. Cell had found, after testing it on Earth, that the vocalization was need by humans to help focus their energy. Cell wasn't human, and needed no such focus point. The only reason he did it in the games was purely for show.

"Meeeeee!"

Both now were powered up as far as they dared go, the same blue lightening snapping over Goku's body as he unconsciously raised his own power to another level.

"Haaaaaah!"

Cell could sense that the resentment Goku had was holding him back, impeding the _true raw power_ Goku could have used. The same thing had nearly happened to Cell when he had felt fear for the first time in his life.

"Meeeeeee!"

In turn, Cell tapped into his deepest reserves of ki, concentrating his energy into a dense ball of energy. Despite Goku obstructing himself, the Saiyan's power output was enormous, enough to make Cell grin with the thrill of rivalry. Everything the bio-android had was drained into this one attack, and he would be surprised if either of them had enough energy to fight hand-to-hand after this.

They both shouted the last part of the attack, pushing forward, neither giving an inch. To do so now, Cell mused, would be highly inappropriate to say the least, a smile of sheer adrenaline and exhilaration expressed on his face.

"Haaaaa!" They screamed their war on each other, throats raw with vocalization, bodies tight with exertion, preparing to take the hit.

Twin spheres of utter power hit each other, spiraling like galaxies trying to consume the other, twisted, their colors melding, spinning, combining until it was too bright to look at.

Finally, the energy seemed to stop, as it exploded outward.

Remarkable energy tore at Cell's body, armor starting to crack, small pieces flecking off, as he was pushed towards the equator with tremendous might, the strange gravity of the planet pulling him down onto the land, Cell too tired to fight gravity at this point, before he fell into blackness.

Goku was no better off, pinned to a cliff, his gi in tatters, bleeding in several different places, but he was conscious. Now exhausted, injured, and mentally wiped-out, he was beyond the mind games Cell had used. Groaning at the effort it took to even raise his fingers to his temple, he thought of the Grand Kai's planet, knowing that they had facilities to deal with the extremely injured, and he phased out of existence.

At the equator of the planet, two figures appeared, standing over Cell's body.

"Seems they both can take an incredible amount of punishment," a deep voice rang, as he critically observed the most green body on the ground, purple blood already clotting.

"Yes, the only thing more amazing than the amount of energy they were able to output is that this one from Hell has had none of the evil drained out of him," a higher pitched voice, still male, spoke.

"He wasn't born. He was created in a lab."

"Still, other races have lab creations, and they have souls. This is a unique case."

"It could be due to that he is neither purely organic or mechanic," the first voice suggested.

"Hm. It is possible. But that isn't our main concern, he has committed despicable acts, and his evil is not being treated, despite the time he's spent in Hell. Bring him, but keep him unconscious, there will be no hope for his redemption until after we locate-"

"Yes, I understand, Shin." He placed a hand on Cell's limp body, and the two flashed out of existence, the only evidence of the fight torn up ground, and purple blood on the orange grass.


	5. Return

When Goku opened his eyes, he found himself lying on a simple bed, a comforter over him with his head resting on a comfortable pillow. He shifted under the warmth and heaviness, finding that he ached, but his muscles didn't sting or burn with injury. Slowly, he sat up, and pulled the blanket away from his body.

He was only wearing his usual pair of underwear, and his skin had only pink angry marks where he knew he should still be hurt. He stretched his arms about his head in a yawn, wondering where he was.

"Goku," grunted the Grand Kai, taking off headphones that were plugged into his boom box, "how are you feeling?"

Goku thought about the question for a moment, not entirely sure how to answer that. He felt...

Physically, he felt better than he should. But in his headspace was a different story. He felt disoriented. Confused. His head still had that fuzzy feeling.

He really didn't like the fuzzy feeling at all.

"I'm okay, Grand Kai. Aside from my head," he rubbed at it and applied pressure against his skull with his palm. Then he brought up the other hand and pressed against it on the other side. While he wouldn't say the feeling was alleviated, it didn't feel too bad while he was doing that. But it didn't make it go away.

"Goku, what happened? How did you get so injured? You're as strong as many warriors here who've been training for thousands of years," the Grand Kai had seen more than enough of Goku in action, and knew that to beat him down to this level would take an opponent of exceptional power, cunning, and previous experience of fighting Goku.

"Cell escaped from Hell and found me. He played dirty..." Goku frowned, pressing against his head a little more before dropping his arms.

"Ah. So that's where he went. I got word a couple of hours before you showed up here that he got away," the Grand Kai mused, "and he found you. What'd he do?"

"He challenged me to a fight and . . . kept asking me questions about Gohan and Chichi and..." Goku's frown deepened.

Even though Cell just wanted to mess with his head . . . did he have a point? Was he . . . bad?

"Then what? Goku, I've only met you a few times, but you're not someone who's easily rattled. There any way to help you?"

But he couldn't be bad. He saved the world-the universe!-so many times. He cared about everyone!

But wasn't that what Cell was saying was the problem? That he cared about everyone the same and . . . that was wrong?

But how could that be wrong?

"Grand Kai . . . how would you determine if someone was good or bad?" Goku put his hands on his knees, leaning forward a little.

"By their actions. Someone good protects the things he cares about, does good for others. Bad person harms people for the fun of it, 'cuz they don't have anything better to do," the Grand Kai drummed his fingers on his leg, Cell had sure managed to get inside Goku's head, and in all his years of experience, he'd seen this kind of mental attack before. But he couldn't just tell Goku that, because Goku's mind didn't work the same way that others' did. He would have to work out these demons for himself, at some point, so that he could heal. And the sooner, the better.

Goku's frown deepened. "But what if . . . what if they do some good things and . . . do some not-as-good things? What if they don't understand what it is they did wrong?"

"That would depend entirely on the situation. Good people have done bad things, and bad people have done good things. What's going on inside your head? What did Cell tell you? That you're bad? 'Cuz that's not right, and it sure as heck ain't true."

Goku hung his head and stared at the red marks on his body. It was easier to focus on those as he spoke. "He said I'm a hypocrite and . . . and that I don't practice what I teach. He was also talking about things that I didn't understand-still don't understand... It made my head hurt, and then I was angry that he made it hurt with just . . . talking."

"You mentioned that he talked about your wife and son," the kai supplied, needing to keep Goku talking so that he could better understand the situation.

"He did... He said I don't see a difference between my son and my wife and other people... He said that my not . . . treating them differently from my friends was bad and . . . he laughed at me when I couldn't understand _why_ he thought it was bad..." Goku lifted a hand to scratch at his head. "I don't get it."

"Oh. I see. Well, Goku, in the society you come from, most husbands develop close relationships with their wives, and become closer to their wives than even their best friends. As a father, your relationship with your son is perceived to have to be different than your relationship with your friends."

Goku didn't look up from his red marks where his body should've been sore. "But it . . . doesn't feel different... Not to me at least..."

Was it . . . really such a big deal? Did . . . did that mean something was wrong with him?

Goku thought about it for a few moments, then grabbed his head again and hunched over.

His head wouldn't stop feeling funny, and it made it hard to think, and he just wanted it to go _away_.

"Well, Goku, you're a pretty unique individual. You're not like everyone else, so no one expects you to relate to others in the," the Grand Kai made quotation marks with his fingers, "'normal' way."

Goku moved his head so he could look at Grand Kai. "But Cell made it sound like I was hurting people by not doing that... That I was hurting Gohan and Chichi and . . . Chichi's new baby."

"Oh…oh! I see. I understand now. Hm, I'm really bad at explaining these culture things. Maybe the Kami of Earth would be able to explain things better. The heck's his name? Denden? Dendy?" _Huh, Goku has another son. Using that against Goku…what a low blow. I'd figure this long in Hell would be enough to drain off some of his evil, but it apparently hasn't. And now Goku is facing the consequences of someone in not doing their job! _The thought was laced with venom in his mind, especially since he knew the _real_ reason Hell existed.

"Dende," Goku corrected. He slid off the bed and stood up, not really minding that he was just in his underwear, "He has spent quite some time on Earth now... And he knows a lot of the customs. And what he doesn't know, Mr. Popo would..." Goku gave it some thought. "Should I give them a telepathy ring?"

"That sounds like a plan, go ahead. Y'got my permission," the Grand Kai nodded in approval.

Goku nodded, then focused his mind on finding King Kai's energy. He lifted his fingers to his forehead, preparing for instant transmission... While still in just his underwear.

King Kai was playing poker with Bubbles, and the cricket. Currently Bubbles had the largest pile of chips, and was looking at his cards.

Goku instant transmissioned right to where King Kai was, appearing on either side of Bubbles and King Kai.

"Hi King Kai," Goku greeted.

"Goku! You're up!" King Kai scrambled to his feet and over to Goku, inspecting his injuries-or lack thereof-while walking around him, "Gah! We were all worried about you, you were out for three days!"

"I was?" Goku asked, but then shrugged and got to the meat of the matter. "King Kai, I need your help contacting Dende. I need to ask him some things."

"Dende? Alright, touch my shoulder," King Kai turned to allow the contact, "Just to let you know, it's been four and half years since you died on Earth."

"Okay," Goku said, knowing that was how long it had been because of what Cell said... He honestly was wishing Cell had minded his own business. He reached out and touched King Kai's shoulder and focused his thoughts on contacting Dende.

"Dende? Are you there? It's Son Goku."

Dende flinched at the tingling sensation of psychic contact, before relaxing into it. Out of the blue, it was a really strange sensation. "Goku? It's really you?" Dende's eyes were wide, as he stood in his room. It was the middle of the night, and he was preparing to go to bed.

"Yeah, it is. I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time." But Goku also had no real intention of waiting. Maybe if he had still been a little boy... But in his adulthood, he had gotten far less re-directable.

"No, no, it's fine," Dende rubbed at his eyes. "What's going on?"

"Well . . . long story short, Cell escaped Hell and we fought and he brought up a lot of . . . things about . . . me and my family, and it doesn't make much sense to me, and I figured you'd be the best person to ask about it since you're Guardian of Earth and as Guardian, you have a bigger, more comprehensive knowledge of how people are . . . supposed to be on Earth... I'm making sense, right?"

"We're talking about societal norms and relationships, right?"

"Yes!" Goku said, brightening up a little bit, "Relationships! 'Cause Cell really confused me with a lot of his talk about me and how I treated Gohan and then he talked about Chichi and . . . it doesn't make sense to me."

"Cell talked about it? But…I know he's dead, but shouldn't he be in Hell?" Dende wandered back out in to the hallways, and headed to the kitchen, and poured himself a cup of milk.

"Well, yeah, he was, but then he broke out and found me and we fought. Well, we started fighting, then he asked me all these questions about . . . what I was thinking putting Gohan in his Cell Games arena and . . . other stuff, and then he made me really mad, and then we went back to fighting and . . . I don't know where he is now. King Kai, do you know?"

"No. The Grand Kai has been ordered by someone to not go after him. Apparently there's been an elite force of bounty hunters sent after him, experienced in the capture and retrieval of dangerous criminals and escapees. But so far, even they haven't found him. But Otherworld is a huge place, and Cell doesn't possess the knowledge and experience to travel here and know where not to go. They'll find him soon," King Kai supplied.

Goku nodded, though he frowned, not liking that Cell wasn't found yet, "so Cell's not relocated yet, but he'll probably be back in Hell sometime soon... In the meantime, he got my head all mixed up and turned around, and I can't make sense of it."

"Alright. So, basically you just want to know about this stuff, so that you understand what Cell was trying to get at?" Dende pulled on a robe, and went outside into the little courtyard where Mr. Popo grew flowers.

"Yeah. So . . . um, where should we start?" Goku asked, unsure of how to ask his questions.

"Well, there's a lot of different things. Can you be a bit more specific about what you want to discuss?" Dende sat on a bench and watched the stars as he conversed with Goku, finding it to be relaxing.

"What's the difference between a son, a wife, and a friend? I guess that's the biggest question I have..." Goku ducked his head a little, staring more at King Kai's back.

"Well…Goku, that's a lot to talk about. Hm, this would be easier to explain face to face, and then we'd have Mr. Popo's input as well. Goku, since you know instant transmission, could you come here to the Lookout?"

"Sure," Goku said. "King Kai, is it okay if I go see Dende in person?"

"Er-yeah, I don't see why not," King Kai answered, the Grand Kai having contacted him about 30 seconds before Goku had appeared, saying to let Goku do what he needed to do to get himself sorted out.

"Thanks," Goku said, lifting his fingers to instant transmit. "See you in a bit, Dende," he lifted his hand off of King Kai before transmitting himself to the Lookout, and said a word of farewell, before he disappeared from the Grand Kai's planet.

"I hope you find what you're looking for, Goku," King Kai stared up at the sky, "and I hope what you find won't keep you from your happiness."


	6. Answers for the Innocent

Dende heard the sound of feet hitting stone, accompanied by the familiar feel of Goku's ki, and looked around, then spotted a mostly-naked Goku. _Well, at least he's wearing underwear_, thought the Namekian.

"Hi, Goku," Dende waved a hand in greeting.

"Hey." It took Goku a moment to realize it was nighttime, and that it was cold up on the Lookout, and to remember that he was only wearing his boxers. He brought his arms and hugged himself. It wasn't freezing, but it was rather nippy. "It's a little colder here than I thought it would be, eh heh..."

"Heh," Dende stood up. "C'mon inside, the kitchen is warm, and I'll make you something warm to drink." He walked towards a door that lead inside, where it was warmer.

Goku had a bit of spring to his step as he followed Dende into the building. He felt the warmth hit his skin as they headed for the kitchen, and it helped him feel much more comfortable.

"You've really grown a lot since I was last here."

"You bet. Me and Gohan are about the same height now," Dende chuckled, "Piccolo was wondering about why I'm not an adult now, since he grew to be fully grown in about three years. I told him Namekian growth rates were similar to humans, and he didn't say much after that."

"Huh. Well, you look good!" Goku remarked, and it was true. Of course, Goku thought everyone looked good, but he didn't see why that mattered at all. "How is Gohan?"

"He's…better now. He's been going to high school, and he's been getting good grades, so Chichi is happy, and so far, he seems to really enjoy it. And he comes up here to visit with me and Piccolo every chance he gets."

Goku brightened up some. "That's good! He likes learning." The way in which Dende said the word better was a little lost on Goku. He heard the positives, and those stood out far better to him than any implied negatives that Dende was avoiding.

"And he's really good at it too! Goten, not so much. Goten is so much like you," Dende shook his head, "it's almost unreal."

Goku tilted his head a little. "Goten? Who's Goten?"

"…Your youngest son."

"Oh." Goku furrowed his eyebrows a little, his face screwed up in thought. "How'd that happen? I've been dead, so how can I have another son?" He can't take a kid under his wing if he's dead, so how could he have a child other than Gohan?

"Well, you must have had sex with Chichi sometime before you went off to right Cell, right?" Dende's cheeks were dusted with a light purple blush as he asked Goku this question.

Goku's eyebrows lifted high, and he looked at Dende with a rather non-comprehending expression. "Well, yeah, we did, but what does that have to do with children?"

"Goku…sex is how children are created. After sexual intercourse, a woman-in this case, Chichi-can become pregnant. During pregnancy, a woman's body creates a baby, and after nine months, a baby is born. If you remember, did Chichi have a big stomach in the few months before Gohan was born?"

Goku thought about it for a few moments, then, "Now that you mention it, she did, but . . . I thought she was just putting on weight... One day, I had gone out to get firewood and food for dinner, I came back, and Chichi had Gohan in her arms. Though he didn't have a name yet..."

"Oh, Goku, when he appeared, that means that she had given birth. Gohan had been growing inside her, and then it was time for him to leave her body."

Goku lifted a hand to scratch at his head, the concept sounding . . . strange. "But . . . what was he doing in there? Why'd he have to grow inside her? Wasn't it crowded in there with Chichi's organs?"

"Women's bodies are designed to be able to have children. Her organs are made to accommodate a baby while she is pregnant."

"Oh." Goku said, accepting that answer. Though he didn't really get how a baby came from sex, but if Dende said they did... "So . . . after Chichi and I had sex, Gohan started living in Chichi's body, then he came out and started living in the house... And this Goten did the same thing after Chichi and I had sex again before the Cell Games, and he's living with Chichi and Gohan now... Right?"

"Well, that's an extreme way of simplifying it, but yes. That's correct, Goku."

"So . . . babies don't usually randomly show up at people's houses and get adopted by strangers that become their parents?"

"No, that would be extremely unusual," Dende said, eyes wide and tilting his head in confusion.

"Oh." Goku said, frowning. "I thought . . . that happened to everybody..." Goku scratched the back of his head some as he thought about it. It's how Grandpa Gohan raised him after all, and it was where he thought Gohan came from...

"Goku, your grandfather finding you and raising you was due to unusual circumstances. Remember, you came to Earth in a Saiyan pod. Most parents have kids by having sex," the young Namekian clarified.

Goku nodded to show that he heard Dende, but his brain was still wrapping itself around the concept. "So . . . Goten really is my kid. 'Cause he can be my kid even though I'm not there..."

"Exactly," Dende nodded, smiling at Goku, happy that even though the Saiyan didn't understand how it worked, that he at least understood that he didn't have to be around for Goten to be his child.

While Goku sat down on one of the chairs by the table, Mr. Popo entered the room.

"Ah, Goku! What a pleasant surprise. And Dende, what are you still doing up? Don't you normally go to sleep by now?" Mr. Popo's face had an almost scolding tone, he knew Kami when he was young needed to sleep at some point, and in this instance, Dende understood that Mr. Popo was a 'fatherly' figure, or as much as a Namekian could have, given the differences between Terra and Namek society.

"Yes," Dende rubbed a green hand on the back of his head, "but Goku has some important questions, so I'm staying up to answer them. Also, Mr. Popo, do we have any clothes that will fit him?"

"Hmmm, I believe that I can find something to fit you, Goku," Mr. Popo gave a bow, and exited the room.

"Thanks, Mr. Popo," Goku said, glad for the offer of clothes. While it was warmer in the kitchen, it was still rather chilly up on the Lookout in general. Goku then focused on Dende again. "So . . . I'm a dad of two now... Huh." He was working on getting used to the idea. Though it was a little difficult to do so when he didn't know what kind of person Goten was. But he was sure he was a good boy, like Gohan.

That then redirected Goku's attention to the reason he was there. "Oh yeah! Dende, what's the difference between a friend and a son?"

Dende thought for a moment on how best to simplify the differences, and decided to start with how a person became a friend, compared to how families were started. "A friend is someone that you meet, who you grow to trust. A son is a person who is created because of you, and you're there for them you're entire life. A father has different responsibilities to his son than to a friend. For example, Goku, you provided food for Chichi and Gohan on a daily basis, keeping Gohan from getting hungry. I know that if one day, Krillen showed up at your house hungry, that you would give him something to eat, but providing for him wouldn't be something that happens every day for years. Basically, you're responsibilities to Gohan, and Goten, are different from the responsibilities to your friends. A father provides for his family, in ways friends usually don't provide for each other."

Goku nodded. He understood that for the most part. He hadn't realized that the providing food for them thing made them different from his friends, but he understood why that was a responsibility. But...

"Is there . . . other stuff a father is supposed to do? 'Cause Cell said . . . Cell said I wasn't a good dad and laughed at me when I didn't understand what he was talking about... Is there something I didn't do that I was supposed to?"

"Well, fathers have a duty to protect their children, especially the younger ones. As children age, both parents teach their kids how to protect themselves in the world, when they get old enough to leave the house for greater periods of time. This is both mentally and physically. But when they're young, the responsibility to keep them from getting hurt rests on the shoulders of their parents."

Goku listened, then nodded. Yeah, he understood protecting them from harm. He definitely did that for Gohan... But he furrowed his eyebrows some, picking up on the specification on mentally and physically part. "What would be considered protecting them . . . mentally?"

"Well, that would probably be like…not putting them into situations they aren't ready for. Like Chichi made Gohan study for school, so when he started, he wasn't unprepared for the material that would be taught."

"And like how I helped Gohan train for those battles in advance?" Goku asked for confirmation. "That was keeping him from going unprepared into a situation, right?"

Dende's face looked uncertain before he hesitatingly answered. "Well, yes and no. Yes, because you trained him in body. But, in the Cell Games, you didn't tell Gohan that you planned for him to fight Cell until the last second. So while he was prepared in body, he wasn't prepared in his mind. Add to that that, Gohan firmly believed that you were stronger than him, that you could beat any opponent that presented himself to you, and that you would be able to protect everyone."

Goku frowned a little bit, but it wasn't because he didn't like what he was hearing . . . per se. He wasn't frowning because he was being called out, but because he was thinking about it and how Gohan had felt (or might have felt) and . . . despite Gohan being his child, it wasn't that easy to do.

"I thought that if I told him off the bat, then he'd work himself into a nervous fit during what should've been down time and then over-exert himself... I never really understood why he always seemed so nervous, but he takes a lot of stuff really seriously..."

He flushed a little as he admitted the next part. "And I kind of thought it was obvious that he was stronger than me. In the hyperbolic time chamber, he made so many improvements..."

"Gohan doesn't share the same love for fighting that you and Vegeta do. He likes it, but not to the death kind of combat that you seem to excel at. I can see why you didn't tell Gohan, but still, there was a whole year for him to get used to the idea of fighting Cell, which would have given him time to acclimate to the idea of the competing in the Cell Games. And as for his development, he never seems to know just how strong he actually is, like you, some things have to be told to him directly, because he can't always infer the meaning."

"Oh." Goku said simply. He bowed his head a little, his face scrunched up in thought as he weighed the facts. "Piccolo talked about . . . how Gohan feels about fighting... During the games. I really hadn't . . . thought of it that way until he mentioned it... And I definitely hadn't . . . thought of it like THAT before..."

Then something that Dende mentioned earlier stuck out in his head, and it made him widen his eyes a little and lift his head up.

"You said Gohan was doing . . . 'better.' What's he . . . better from?"

The white of Dende's eyes became more pronounced, and he looked away, mind trying to gasp words like sand falling through his fingers. His body language screamed out his reluctance to say anything, but knowing that Goku deserved to be aware of the difficult times that Gohan had gone through after Goku's death. Admittedly, the teen had put on a good performance at first, pretending that he was ok with his father's decision, but as it sank in, the more upset Gohan became. And even if Goku didn't understand why his death affected Chichi and Gohan so strongly, he would want to know. As a friend, he would like to understand. But as a father, and now perhaps more aware of the role he played in his family, he would have to be aware of the truth of what happened. Taking a deep breath, resigned to tell this part of Gohan's history, he began to speak.


	7. Discussions of Gohan

"…After your death, he was…in a dark place. Depressed, and angry a lot. He spent a lot of time of up here, sparring with Piccolo for an outlet, and talking to me, and Mr. Popo. He was that way for a few months, but when Goten was born…I think that helped him a lot, having someone to look out for, someone who doesn't know anything about fighting, or the violence people are capable of. Now, he seems…not all better, but he's definitely improved from the first few months that you were gone."

Goku tilted his head to the side. He understood what Dende said when he said Gohan had been angry (though angry about what, he wasn't really sure yet), but the other word Dende used...

"Depressed?" Goku asked, prompting for clarification. He didn't really know what that meant.

"Depressed is…being sad all the time," Dende supplied.

Goku stared at Dende for a little while, then frowned a bit more as he tried to visualize what that must've been like.

He couldn't. It was a completely foreign concept to him. How could someone be sad ALL the time?

"What was he sad about?" Goku asked.

"Mostly…from what he told me, missing you, and other things like being frustrated with his home life with his mom added to it. Chichi was going through a hard time too, and that also played a part in Gohan's depression. Even though they both understand why you did what you did, that didn't make it any easier to live with."

Goku furrowed his eyebrows, frowning more. "It was . . . hard for them?" He hadn't expected it would be...

He felt . . . he felt like he had greatly misunderstood . . . everything. He felt like he was stupid. He felt...

He felt like his head was getting the foggy feeling again.

"Gohan and Chichi felt especially close to you. You were an important part of their life, their center. And when you left, they were sad. Of course, everyone else was sad too, but you're absence hit them especially hard."

Goku's frown deepened. He hadn't . . . he hadn't thought . . . he hadn't meant. . . . But...

"But they're doing better now, you said?" He asked, seeking assurance that they were fine.

"Yes. Time helps to heal emotional wounds, and it has been four and half years since you died or had any contact with them."

It was good to know that they were doing better. But . . . he really hadn't thought that it would . . . cause problems for them. Him not coming back.

But he was also at a loss as to . . . why it caused them problems.

Yes, if anything bad ever happened to Chichi or Gohan, he'd feel terrible. Much like he felt terrible when his grandfather had died and when Krillin had been murdered and Yamcha, Tien, and so many of his other friends... But he accepted his grandfather's death and moved on rather easily, and he had been so thankful for being able to wish his friends back to life. But there was also the knowledge that he'd . . . never dwell on it. It wouldn't haunt him at all. He would think of them sometimes and miss them, but he'd just . . . let it go.

It never occurred to him that Gohan and Chichi . . . wouldn't do that. Or . . . couldn't?

Goku found himself in a trail of thought that he was getting lost in, and as a result, it made him rather quiet for a few moments.

Mr. Popo returned to the room, with a similar gi of what Goku's was, except this one was dark blue, "I managed to find something left over from training the others. This should fit you**," **he handed over the stack of clothes to Goku.

Goku looked up at Mr. Popo entered the room. He gave him a smile and took the gi from him. "Thanks. I owe you one." He unfolded it and worked on slipping it on. The action was simple and familiar, but it was also something Goku could focus on instead of the thoughts running around in his head.

"Goku…" Dende started, "what were you thinking just now?"

Mr. Popo began to get some things from the fridge and got out pots and pans. When Goku was at the Lookout that meant that Mr. Popo, being the kind host he was, would prepare food. Even Dende liked to eat, due to the variety of cuisine Earth had, even though he could subsist on nothing but water.

Goku looked over at Dende as he tied the belt around his waist. "Hm? Oh..." He frowned again and kept his head lowered. "Just . . . how much I . . . miscalculated how they'd feel... Gohan and Chichi... I think I really . . . I don't know if I understand them at all anymore and that . . . the idea that I've made decisions that hurt them badly worries me because I never wanted to-I didn't want to hurt anybody, and I thought it'd be okay..."

"Oh…Goku, when someone important, or a loved one dies, that takes time to get over. If the same happened to you, I take it you wouldn't dwell on it too much, and just accept it. But most people mourn, and feel heat broken for quite some time**,"** Dende explained, trying to be gentle with his words, but still get the truth across. The truth was a harsh thing, but Goku had to know, had to understand, before he could finally get what Chichi and Gohan went through.

Goku's frown deepened, and he felt a surge of emotion swell in his chest, accompanied by that annoying burning that happens to your eyes when you might cry. His ki fluctuated slightly as he gradually grew more upset with himself and his own decisions and learning far too late what he had done, though he had no real way of knowing just how little he really truly understood what it was. He had never experienced the heartbreak that he had put Chichi and Gohan through-and might never, now that Goku thought about it. And suddenly that felt scary. That he was somehow this out of touch with how other people felt . . . and yet caring so much for those people...

Was something wrong with him?

Something connected in his brain, and he looked back up at Dende. "You said Piccolo's up here, right? And that he and Gohan still spend time together, right?"

"He still comes around, but only about one weekend a month, since he's in school, and has to study hard."

Goku's brain absorbed that information, and he was about to ask something different, but then his brain got hooked onto something that surprised him about that.

"Studying takes up that much time?"

"He's in one of the best high schools, and he has many advanced placement classes, so he's busy with homework and getting ahead," Dende explained.

Goku just stared at Dende for a few moments, his brain trying to come up with meaning for those statements, but it just wasn't quite connecting. "What's . . . advanced placement?"

"It means his classes are harder, and there's more things to learn than in a normal version of a class. Imagine if you were going to train someone. Suppose you had two people to train, and get them to the same level of strength. But you have one month to train one, and four months to train the other. So, the person that would be training for one month would be training more intensively, right?"

"Oh! Yeah, they would be. Wow." He had always known Gohan was smart, but this was surprising. In a good way. Goku smiled a little bit. He was proud of his son. Gohan was a lot smarter than Goku ever could be. "So he's got, like . . . a school master teaching him instead of a martial arts master? Teaching him all that stuff?"

"Well, he has different teachers for different classes, but yes, each teacher is specialized in what they teach, more than just a normal teacher would be**,"** Dende gave him a smile and a nod, letting him know that he got it right.

Goku's eyes widened a little as he imagined what it would be like to have several different teachers all at once teaching him different techniques and stuff. It was the only way he could actually visualize what it was like for Gohan. His eyes got wider as he put together just how complicated learning all that stuff at once must be.

"Wow!" he exclaimed, his mouth opening a little. "And he's able to keep it all in his head? Without getting it all mixed up?"

"For the most part, that's why he has to study, to keep from forgetting things or mixing them up."

Goku sat there in awe for a few moments. Gohan could do all that? Even with learning new techniques, he had to do it one at a time until he mastered it. Then he never forgot it and could do it whenever. But if he learned multiples at once, he never could remember it. Sometimes he'd make stuff up on the spot, but it wouldn't stick.

After a while of letting that absorb in his brain, his mouth broke out into a big grin. "Gohan's awesome!"

He always knew that, but he felt like he had a bit of a better appreciation for it now.

He wasn't really aware of it, but he kind of looked like a kid who had just realized just how cool his hero was-which was interesting because his relationship with Gohan was quite the other way around.

Dende smiled softly**, "**yes, Gohan's the top of his class, and has been since…" Dende hesitated, not wanting to give away just how long Gohan had stayed out of school due to the toll his father's death had taken on him**, "**…since he started going back."

Goku didn't pick up on the hesitation in Dende's voice. He was still reeling from the fact that Gohan really, _really_ had talent in something he really hadn't given much thought to at all. He had just known that it mattered a lot to Chichi and that Gohan at least seemed to like it, but he had never really gotten why it was important. But if Gohan could do that, when school and learning with those books was so hard-Gohan really was incredible!

Though with the revelation came with the cementing of the fact that he really, really didn't . . . know Gohan. He didn't understand him, and . . . that was a problem.

The smile faded from his face, and he bowed his head a little as he thought about it.

"Dende, where's Piccolo right now?"

No one knew Gohan better than Piccolo.


	8. Talking

"Piccolo is currently down on Earth, meditating. He's on an island north of Kame house," Mr. Popo said, fiddling with cooking something on the stove, "but he did say he would be returning at daown, and that's only about three hours from now. Would you like to stay here and wait for him? I'm already starting breakfast, and you're more than welcome to stay and eat with us."

Dende turned to Goku.

Goku weighed his options. Food did sound good...

"Okay, I'll wait for him, then."

He made himself a bit more comfortable, since he wasn't about to instant transmit over there.

He also wasn't sure if he was done talking to Dende just yet, either.

He perched himself on the edge of his seat and propped his elbows onto the table.

"Top of his class..." A small smile returned to his face. He was very proud of his son, even if he didn't really understand what exactly it meant.

"Chichi and even Piccolo, are both proud of him too," Dende smiled, "and he's spent time up here studying too. Says it's quiet and that helps when he really needs to focus."

Goku nodded, knowing the appreciation of quiet. Quiet places made good locations for training. And if studying was training of the mind, then it made sense that it would be a good place for studying too.

"Chichi had always pushed the studying. She understood it a lot better than I did." His smile widened as he imagined how happy she must've been with how well he was doing.

"Chichi has been easy to get along with recently, with Gohan doing so well and all," Dende agreed.

Goku's smile widened even more. "That's good. She was always mad about something or other before... But she's really sweet when she's happy." He liked her best when she was happy. And it was why he agreed to marry her; she said it would make her happy... But he supposed it hadn't really worked out that way.

"Goku…" Dende started., "Yyou said you think of Chichi as your friend. Do you feel…romantic feelings towards her?" Tthe Namekian was puzzled as to why Goku had actually married her. Not that Chichi was a mean person, she wasn't, it was more that Dende didn't really understand marriage.

Goku raised his eyebrows a little at Dende's question. Then he shrugged. "I dunno. I don't . . . feel any differently towards her than I do anyone else... I agreed to marry her 'cause she went all the way to the Tenkaichi Budokai 'cause she was mad I skipped out on our wedding. Though I didn't realize it was a wedding. Or knew what a wedding was. And she was so mad, but then she was so happy to be with me again, and . . . I wanted her to be happy. Like how I want Yamcha and Krillin and Bulma and the others to be happy... She just didn't stay happy, and I couldn't really figure out why. Sometimes she'd be happy again and I couldn't really figure out why that was either." Goku brightened up a little. "But she liked it when Gohan and I were home and spending time with her. That was why I planned those days of rest before the Cell Games. In case anything happened and . . . I wanted to make sure she got to be happy before..."

"Wow, that's really…selfless, of you," Dende settled on the word.

Goku shrugged. "She's kind of scary when she's angry, but she cooks really well. And she's a good mom to Gohan."

"Yeah, heh," Dende laughed, "there's even been times where she's been like a mother to me when Gohan brought her up here to visit."

Goku looked surprised at that, but then he grinned brightly. "That's Chichi!"

Goku had fond memories of her. Though a lot of them were also confused ones. Much of the time, he had no idea what she was thinking or wanting to do or why she wanted to do it. And often she'd yell at him and he wouldn't understand why she was angry or yelling in the first place. But he let her do her thing, and he liked watching her do her thing, even though he didn't understand why she felt the need to do the laundry every day or the dishes or other things like that.

He didn't really get why she didn't like him doing his thing, but he supposed it was because it meant he wasn't at home as much. And she liked it when he was at home. But sometimes, being at home just drove him crazy. He couldn't stand being stuck in one place with mostly things that made his head hurt, things he couldn't make sense of too much all the time.

He liked Chichi, but sometimes she made the fuzzy feeling happen really badly, and he felt cooped up in their house too easily, and he just . . . _felt_FELT better being out and adventuring.

Dende was silent while, and Mr. Popo put mounds of still-hot food on the table, then and put a plate with a napkin, fork, knife, and spoon in front of Goku.

"Dig in," he said happily, going back to tend to the waffles and pancakes that were on a skillet.

Goku brightened up more at the presence of food, and he got working on the food almost as soon as it was placed in front of him, giving himself a moment to shout "Itadakimasu!" before digging in.

He focused on the taste and the textures of the food for a while, though eventually his mind went back to why he was visiting, what Cell had said, what he did and didn't understand about Chichi and Gohan, how he didn't know how to fix what he had apparently broke...

And he apparently had another child...

"What's Goten like?" Goku asked seemingly out of the blue.

"He's like a miniature version of you," Dende replied., "Ssame hair, same eyes, and the same attitude as you. He's always happy, even if he doesn't get why Chichi or Gohan get sad sometimes, he's always cheering them up. You'd love him to death, everyone does. Even Vegeta tolerates him, when Bulma babysits him when Chichi and Gohan can't."

Goku listened, his smile returning as he continued to eat. "Is he learning to fight too? Or is he studying too?"

"Actually, here's where it gets funny," Dende giggled a bit, "Chichi is training him."

"What!?" Goku almost put the plate he was holding down. "She is!?"

Now THAT didn't make any sense at all. "But she's been so against training!"

"I know! But she does, and even Gohan trains with him from time to time. And Vegeta's son Trunks and him play together all the time and train together too. And…both Goten and Trunks can go Super Saiyan."

"Whoa! Really!? That's awesome!" Goku stood up, getting excited about the prospect of two tiny Super Saiyans. His brain was already jump-starting to imagining training with them and how fun that would be.

His excitement was a bit too obvious, and it also pushed out quite a few of his previous thoughts and concerns.

"Well, don't tell Vegeta that Trunks can do it. He hasn't told his father yet, and I think it's because Trunks is pretty intuitive, and doesn't want to upset him," Dende said, understanding why Goku would be excited to hear about two Saiyan kids who had already been able to turn super. At the same time, he knew that Goku needed to go over what had happened. Still, Goku deserved to have happy moments, so Dende decided not to say anything until Goku started asking questions again.

"Oh, okay. It's a secret!" Goku was grinning widely, super excited about this prospect. "How'd they become Super Saiyans?"

"Well, Trunks was in the gravity room, and he got angry that he couldn't keep up with Vegeta, who he looks up to, and since anger is a key part of being able to turn super, he apparently was mad enough that he turned that night. And after finding out that he could, he became stronger in his normal form, since I guess when you turn super that unlocks power in a Saiyan.

And as for Goten, one day Chichi was pushing him really hard, and landed in one hit too many, and out of shock and pain, he turned super instinctually. Chichi was in for quite a shock, and then told him not to do it, unless it was an emergency. And I'm not sure Gohan knows about Goten being able to go super either."

Goku was bouncing in his seat as Dende told him about Trunks and Goten.

He was a little surprised to hear that it has been rather easy for Trunks and Goten, but that didn't disappoint him. If anything, it made him even more excited about it. Just how much innate talent and power did they have for fighting if it came so easily to them? It was something that really got Goku fired up.

"That is so cool! I really want to see it!"

"Well," Dende looked over at Mr. Popo, "I suppose I could always give Gohan a call, and have him bring Goten up here with him when he visits this weekend. And I don't know about Trunks, but I think if we can get Goten to invite Trunks over before Gohan comes up here we could get them here if you wanted to meet them."

Goku's face brightened up considerably, and he actually did jump up out of his seat. "Really?! You mean it?!" He started to bounce up and down on the balls of his feet. "Awesome!"

His mind was running wild with thoughts of getting to spar with the youngest half-Saiyans, and it was making him even more excitable. It was rather obvious on his expression that he had gotten so wrapped up in the idea that it might take some prodding or time to get him back on topic to why he was on Earth in the first place.

"Yeah, sure," Dende scratched one of his antennae. "It's Monday, so we've got a whole week to arrange things. So, Goku, is there anything you plan on doing, or anyone else that you want to talk to while on Earth?"

Goku paused his bouncing, thinking about it. "Um..."

Goku nodded. "Piccolo. And . . . probably Chichi." He put his hands on his hips as he thought, his eyebrows furrowing a little bit. "Or . . . maybe not..." He bowed his head a little, then brought a hand up to scratch his head. "I mean, I . . . I know I want to talk to Piccolo first. And probably . . . decide what to do after that..."

He didn't want to hurt Chichi, and he didn't know if seeing him after all this time would hurt her or make her feel better. Especially since he wasn't here to stay...

"I understand.," Dende nodded., "Ssince you've been gone for so long…Goku, what's been going on in Otherworld? What have you been doing there?"

Goku lowered his hand and put it back onto his hip. "Well, I got to participate in an Otherworld tournament. It was a lot of fun, and I made some good friends. I've also been exploring and discovering new planets in Otherworld. Did you know that there are living people in Otherworld? Not everyone's dead!"

"Living people in Otherworld?" Dende's expression changed to that of a curious child, showing just how young he actually was. "How is that possible?"

"I have no idea, but there are, and they have really interesting ways of living! When Cell found me, I had found a place where they used energy instead of money! And there's a planet that is very sparsleysparsely inhabited, but it has gravity in both the ground and the clouds, and the gravity pulls you every which way, sometimes even sideways, and there was King Kai's planet, but that blew up when I teleported me and Cell to Otherworld to save the Earth, but then there's - !"

And he went on and on about the different planets and people that he had met in Otherworld, both living and dead.

Dende listened with interest, sipping on a cup of coffee that Mr. Popo had given him to keep awake. Hours passed as Goku described in surprising detail all the places he had explored, and people he had met. Dende only interrupted Goku whenever he had questions, and mounds of food disappeared as Goku ate in-between stories.

Piccolo exhaled, done with his meditation. It was just dawn, faint light streaking across the horizon. Shadows changed as the light started to spread, illuminating the world around him. He took in a deep breath, the scent of clean air and trees crisp and refreshing, bring his mind back to his body. He stood up, stretching, then rolled his shoulders, and lifted himself up in the air. It was time to go home.

As Piccolo landed on the edge of the Lookout, he felt a familiar energy. It was Saiyan. It belonged to a person who had died four and half years ago. It was Goku.

After his keen ears picked up snips of conversations where he could pick out Goku's voice, it finally sank in; Goku was here on the lookout. Without conscious thought, Piccolo's body broke into a run, taking him through the hallways, until he arrived at the door to the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, he calmed his excited nerves, and turned the knob.

There, at the small table that normally he, Dende, and Mr. Popo used for meals, was sitting Earth's hero, clad in a dark blue gi instead of the normal orange, devouring massive amounts of food.

Piccolo finally seemed to find his voice, as he addressed his old friend.

"Goku."


End file.
